Field Guide to Online Daters
Be Honest! Be Proud!
The online dating world is full of imperfect people, or as I prefer to think of them, people who are unconventionally attractive. Some of us are short. Some of us are fat. Some of us are bald. Some of us are old. Some of us are poor. In fact, NOBODY is perfect. And often the people who seem ideal on the surface are the most deeply flawed.
A Few Helpful Tips
There are far worse characteristics to have than the superficial issues that list-makers like to use to exclude people from consideration. That’s why I’m going to come right out and say it: don’t use shopping lists and don’t aim your profile at people who do. People are not commodities, and it’s not right to shop for a lover the way you’d shop for a digital camera:
- Compact design
- Master’s degree
- Color: ibook white
- Impressive job
- Wide angle lens
- Regular jogger
- Adjustable aperture
- Can play “Dixie” on the accordion
You don’t want to be the person with the list, and you probably don’t want to hook up with him or her either.
Word of Advice
I’m not saying that we aren’t allowed to have preferences and turn-offs. We just need to respect each other and ourselves. Fat? Don’t photograph yourself from above in an attempt to make your face look thinner and your body smaller. Bald? Don’t wear a hat. Short? Don’t stand next to a life sized Danny DeVito cutout.
Instead, get a good haircut and put your face in order. Find the best lit, nicest looking area in your home and make sure it’s clean and tidy. Put on some clothes that make you feel attractive and play some music you love. Dance around a little. Then use your camera’s timer - or a willing friend - to take pictures of your true, undisguised gorgeousness or handsomeness. Try different angles and different poses. Take some of your face and some that show all of you. Fly your freak flag high and let your light shine through.
In your profile, there's no need to dwell on the characteristics that some might consider negatives. However, don't hide from them either. Make them part of your overall charm. Those of us who don’t look or live like Barbie and Ken often have the most interesting hobbies, the funniest stories, and the best sets of skills. (You can interpret that however you want.)
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Own your differences, know your dreams, and open yourself up to the unexpected.